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A word to collectively describe the various metro-sexual varieties of coffee that have been adapted in some unnecessary way to make them more appealing to the common fag.
Such coffee derivatives covered by the term Faggaccino are:
Cappuccino,
Caffè latte,
Caffè Americano,
Caffè macchiato,
Espresso,
Frappuccino,
Caramel Macchiato,
Caffè Mocha,
Gingerbread Latte,
Toffee Nut Latte,
Eggnog Latte*
* = Seriously WTF!
Café cashier: What can I get you?
Luke: Hi, can I have a Light-Iced, Double-Shot, Non-Fat, 8-pump Sugar-Free Vanilla, Extra Caramel, Caramel Macchiatto please.
Café cashier: Sorry, we don't sell fagguccinos.
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A person that rarely carries cash and routinely pays with a card.
A card-wanker will usually insist that the benefits of not carrying cash justify their 'card-wanker' status but this is a fallacy.
Card wankers will generally need to go to the cash point before nights out or when purchasing items from places that don't accept cards but will typically only draw enough to cover what they think they will spend which is usually slighly less than they actually need resulting in a second visit to the ATM.
Example 1
Paul: Why is it that there always a queue at the checkout when you're in a rush?
Dave: Yeah, I know.
Paul: And the guy in front of me always turns out to be a card wanker.
Dave: I'm paying on card.
Paul: Why?
Dave: I don't have any cash on me.
Paul: You're such a card-wanker.
Dave: (begins weak attempt to justify his card-wanker status)
Example 2
Paul: Anyone up for a pint after work?
Dave: Yeah, I'll go but I need to go to the ATM first.
Paul: It's a pint, It'll cost you less that a fiver.
Dave: I don't have any cash.
Paul: You're such a card-wanker.
Dave: (begins weak attempt to justify his card-wanker status)
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The word schort is a variant of the word schlong only where schlong describes a penis that is fair to large in size, schort describes a small or tiny penis.
Luke: Hey Dave
Dave: Hey Luke, what you been up to?.
Luke: I've just been to the gym with Kyle. You know he's got a tiny penis.
Dave: No but I suspected.
Luke: Yeah, when we were coming back from the shower I noticed he was packin' a schort in his shorts.
Dave: You did, did you.
Luke: Yeah, it's tiny. I took a picture with my phone if you want to see.
Dave: I'm good thanks. Why'd you do that.
Luke: For my collection. You don't think I go to the gym to work out do you?
Dave: .....
Luke: .....
Dave: So..., Kyle's packin' a schort then
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A magical word that when spelled all in capitals, emboldened and followed by an exclamation mark makes any statement it follows indisputably true.
Dave: Hey Kyle
Kyle: Hey Dave
Dave: Did you hear that Luke had finally come out?
Kyle: No way! He's not even gay.
Dave: FACT!
Kyle: Fair enough.
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