Teaching My Liver to Swim

Drinking heavily

Finals just ended and I am going to spend the entire weekend teaching my liver to swim.

The Sophies

Sickness that sends excrement exploding from both ends simultaneously requiring one to make a most painful choice (roughly equal in difficulty to Sophie's Choice) over what will go into the toilet and what will have to be cleaned off the floor. One will often get The Sophies after a long night of drinking. The only known cure is a sink close enough to lean against and vomit into while crapping in the toilet.

You better find another bathroom 'cause John drank an entire bottle of vodka last night and had a wicked case of The Sophies.

2👍 2👎