Swedish holiday

masturbating in public

Police Officer: What are you doing, sir?
Perv: I'm on a Swedish holiday.
Police Officer: Yeah, this isn't Sweden. I'm arresting you.

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shit yer snatch

To completely overreact to a situation. Obviously meant to apply to women but doubly effective when applied to a man, implying they are, in fact, actually a woman.

Thomas: We're going to be late again! We have to leave and you're still sorting mail and need a wash!

Percy: Ok, don't shit yer snatch! The fat controller can wait two minutes!

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scumpipe

n. a hotdog, usually sold by a street vendor

I was so drunk last night I had a scumpipe after the show and now I feel awful.

Common Nonsense

Phrase describing a popular belief that is held and promoted but which is not actually true.

False information that has not yet made the transition to Old Wives Tale.

Examples of Common Nonsense:

1. Corporal punishment improves behavior.
2. If you don't wear a hat you'll catch a cold.
3. Saddam Hussein was behind 9/11.
4. If you shave something the hair grows back thicker.
5. Your hair and nails keep growing after you die.
6. The world used to be a safer place.

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Chunkle Fever

a skinny person's new-found preference after discovering the mind-blowing superiority of plus-sized sex partners.

Al: That girl is so hot, is that fat guy her brother?
Bob: Nah, that's her boyfriend, she's got Chunkle Fever

or

Richard: Check the giant booty on that one!
Wayne: Aw yeah...
Richard: Bro, you got Chunkle Fever

t'whittle

v. to edit a finished Tweet or SMS text message with the goal of reducing the content to 140 characters or less.

cont.: "text" and "whittle".

1. Conversational:

Bill: Are you still sending that text message? What's taking so long?
Sam: I have to t'whittle it.

2. The message:

Good Morning! I saw you last night but didn't get a chance to say "Hi!" I hope your trip was successful and that you'll be joining us this Saturday at Phil and Jenny's place after the kids finish their rehearsal.

is t'whittled to become:

G'morning! Saw you last night from afar, hope your trip was good. We're @ Phil and Jenny's this Sat. after rehearsal, you?

minge crust

vegma deposited and dried onto a toilet seat

Jan's house is disgusting, from the rotten stuff in the fridge to the minge crust in the bathroom.

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