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Random
A saying that is immediately followed by a lie.
Landlord: I'll be honest, the place doesn't have rats and none of your neighbors are convicted sex offenders.
Potential Tenant: Fuck you scumbag; honestly.
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Someone that is so fucking annoying... that to be in their presence is like getting whacked in the shins with a golf club coated in lime juice and salt over and over and over.
Mike: Dude where were you the entire party?
Tim: That shinwhacker Jamie had me pinned down next to guac' bowl all night. I can hardly stand up straight..
Mike: I saw him get out of his truck and almost fell down a flight of stairs running for cover.
The art of convincing bums, children or the elderly to move towards the curb/puddle/slush where they are summarily drenched by your passing car.
Steve: Hey Bob, do you want to go Bum Slushing tonight? The weatherman is calling for snowpocalypse!
Bob: How does that work again?
Steve: First we hit the bank and get a few rolls of pennies, then we make a pass down State and Madison throwing pennies all over the place, circle around....
Bob: Steve, you are going to hell.
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Someone (usually a wife or mother) that has the uncanny ability and timing.. to pick the exact moment when you are truly happy and bring it to a screeching stop.
Mike: This is the best time I've ever had. It sure is nice to be able to finally...
Gail: We gotta go. This sunlight is too shiny.. and what's with all the crystal blue water.... they keep refilling my drink before it's even half empty!
Mike: FUNWRECKER!