camel toed sea-pig

A female -type person who not only walks around with a 'camel-toe' most of the time , but is also overweight and looks like a 'pig' that could float- ergo- the 'sea pig' descriptive portion...

The female person's pants were so tight, and her wieght, so out of control, that she took on the appearance of a" camel toed sea-pig "....

sluntstress

a slunt ( slut and a cunt) who thinks she is a lady, but is really a dirty little, viscious, coniving, deceitful little bitch underneath her superficial facade...

The party planner acted so aloof and hotintot- but she was really just a little sluntstress