Disney Channel

The crappiest channel out there. Was supposed to be about classic Disney cartoons but instead started making all these crappy shows about teenagers with some retarded plot and slapping the Disney label on them so parents will let their kids watch.

And of course the only kids that watch that shit are eleven-year-old girls who try to act like they're sixteen. Of course all the characters on every single one of their shows is a teenager, just so 11-year-olds everywhere can watch and say, "I watch Lizzie McGuire and Hannah Montana and That's So Raven on the Disney Channel, so that makes me grown-up!" Every show on that channel is geared towards eleven-and-under-year-old kids but try to make it look like they're geared towards older kids.

Let me also say that the actors and actresses CANNOT ACT, yet they are possibly the biggest stars in Hollywood right now. Why, you might ask? Because of the gullible eleven-year-old girls who tune in every night to watch because it makes them feel older.

"On an all-new Hannah Montana, Miley's dad gives her a brand-new credit card! But OF COURSE she goes overboard shopping! What's a tween to do?!"

"Dude, if I have to hear my little sister sing that Hannah Montana shit one more time, I swear I'm gonna BLOW MY FUCKING BRAINS OUT!!!"

"Disney Channel Writer #1: "You know, I feel like even though we've already got Lizzie McGuire, Phil of the Future, the Suite Life of Zack and Cody, Kim Possible, and That's So Raven, we STILL don't have enough teen shows!!"

Disney Channel Writer #2: "I KNOW! Let's make a TV show about a tween (excuse me, teen) who is a regular girl during the day but--bear with me on this--is a POP STAR AT NIGHT!!!!!!!"

Disney Channel Writer #1: "OH MY GOD! I'm really glad you remembered our rule--EVERY central character on EVERY Disney Channel show HAS to be a teenage girl! I'm so proud of you for remembering! This is such a great idea!"

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