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When you're a total narcissus about your profession and think you're so much better than anyone else at it, it gets you off.
God I love my job, I'm such a success and do it so well it gives me a progasm!
When a guy gets so cold, his dick draws up inside himself to the point of looking as though he may be uncut, even though he isn't.
Man, it's so damn cold in here I was turtled up and had to pull my dick out of myself just to take a leak.
I think... but it was so damn long I forget, I have a hangover and I'm gonna need chemo.
When a well known person, celebrity or public figure (locally or nationally) dies of a drug overdose, usually by pain meds and alcohol or a bad mixture of drugs.
1. Dude! Don't take those pills with alcohol, you're gonna flintstone!
2. Hey man, whatever happened to _________? I haven't seen him in any movies lately.
Dude, he flintstoned last year.
Aww another one, for realz? Shit man.
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The scrunched up face a guy makes as he faps and edges closer to climax.
I dunno what you're doing in your car dude, but you have fap face.
Making a long story short, sometimes even shorter than the readers digest version.
Guy1 - "What happened to you, someone beat you in the face!?"
Guy2 - "Well, it's kind of a long story."
Guy1 - "Well, shortlip it, I'm in a hurry."
When you do anything to someone who is drunk and passed out, from a feel up to teabagging them or filling their shorts with whipped cream.
Guy 1 wakes up: WTF!! Why is my nose full of fucking jello dude!?
Guy 2: HAHAHA! Dude, you've been totally buzzraided!
Patting yourself on the back by announcing your good deed on Twitter. Trump does this daily.
Leave it to Trump to Twitterpat himself on the back for any deed that benefits him.
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