cock your trumpet

British
To take ages on the toilet, usually taking a really long shit.

"After that long walk I'm gonna go cock my trumpet."

"Oh you're going in? Are you gonna cock your trumpet?"
"Hahaha yeah gonna be ages"
"Ok don't be too long"

not a mug

1) Some other liquid container, such as a cup.
2) Definitely a mug.
3) A meta-ironic mug design for the urbandictionary mug.

this mug is definitely not a mug. totally.

lpmknojbiuvgcyftxzrdesaqw

when you are incredibly bored and decide to go three keys at once.

right, I've tried plokmijnuhbygvtfcrdxeszwaq and zqasxwcedvfgtbhnymjukilop, why don't I try typing lpmknojbiuvgcyftxzrdesaqw into google and see what comes up?