single

the one that everyone feels sorry for, but should really envy.

person in relationship: I had such a busy night last night, because I had to help my boyfriend wax his back hair, but it was all worth it because he took me to applebees afterwards. What did you do?
Single person: There was a lot of alcohol involved, and I invited a guy over that turned out to be a total douchebag.
person in relationship: oh no, that sounds awful
single person: yeah, but it was all worth it because he left over a bottle of patron, and I am never returning his phone calls so i can keep it. I love being single.

218👍 82👎

Stone

when you throw rocks at someone

the third grade class found out that Billy didn't like chocolate snack packs, the rest of the class finding this to be beyond bizarre, all decided to stone him on the play ground after lunch

2👍 8👎

relationship

a simple inconviencence that means whoever you are dating tries to dictate what you do, where you go, and-basically-dicatates your freedom.

Mark: Did George get shipped off to Iraq? I haven't seen him forever!
Matthew: Nope, he is in a relationship.

55👍 21👎