NFCM!

Nearly Fucking Crapped Myself! Acronym to be used in online forums or text messages when expressing a reaction of great surprise, pleasure or enthusiasm towards something.

OMG!!!! Hav u seen Lay d Gaga's nu vid?? NFCM!!! ;-)

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nostril botherer

1. A nose biscuit baked in bum passage; a tummy shame.

2. One who serially bakes nose biscuits in public places.

Jesus Frank, can you smell that?! I wonder who the nostril botherer is this time...

omelantitis

Syndrome affecting poorly executed omelettes, scrambled eggs or other egg-based dishes, e.g. quiches. Or a syndrome affecting fugly people whose faces closely resemble a poorly executed omelette, quiche etc...

Jesus! You can't do that to a quiche, you pervert... now looks like it's got omelantitis!