Fart Musician

This is a rare bunch of regular farters that have the ability to not only fart on demand, but also to use the fart as a musical instrument....controlling the tone and intensity of farts that can often last for 2o seconds or more at expert level.

The quality of the finish is important, but strangely the intensity of the stench is not. This is purely comedy value farting for entertainment value.

Venue: the putting green at a nice golf course with friends.

The plot: wait until a friend is about to take a crucial putt, then release the longest fart you can.

The result: everybody pauses while embracing the brilliance of your fart musicianship then when the flatulence stops they all roll around on the green in hysterics. It's great for pissing off people who are queuing behind to play the hole.

Fart Invasion

This is when you go to a small shop with a large bunch of friends with whom you had a curry with the night before. And you all simultaneously fart like hell before exiting without making a purchase. This can be done in stealth by silent ones, or for added effect rip them out as loud as you can, watch the invasion unfold as the shop assistants dive for cover.

If you only have a small group, it can be done in a taxi, but has to be just as you're paying your fare.......Then upon leaving the taxi the doors are closed really quickly. The driver then suffers for over-charging.

'lets go to that crap clothes shop on the and release phase 1 of a fart invasion campaign, we'll get the fuckers next week too'

'This taxi drivers sure to rip us off, I feel the need for a fart invasion'

2👍 1👎