White Elephant

A party where people (usually family, friends, or a combo of the two) get together and have a game where you unwrap, steal, and trade off presents never actually useful in real life. I mean, my family W.E. party got me a laser tape measure!

"What's up! How did the White Elephant party go?"
"I got a laser thingy!"
"Ooh! That sucks."
"Are you kidding?! That thing is awesome! You push the button and a little red dot comes out!"
"..."

159👍 73👎

St. Patrick's Day

Supposed to be on the Island = A national holiday in Ireland celebrating the life of St. Patrick, where you even got to forget Lent for a day.
Nowadays in USA = Just an excuse teenagers find to get wasted either during the school week or on Spring Break.

-Oh man! St. Patrick's Day as awesome!!!
=What'd you do?
-umm....I don't.....remember....
=Yeah, that's what I thought, you culture-stealing liberal! Go get drunk on Pearl Harbor Day or something! Leave St. Patty's Day to the laddies!

90👍 99👎

Wallball

The greatest thing to hit Suburban America since the back yard.
A (dare I say it) sport in which people throw a ball at a wall, hoping an opponet drops it so they can throw the ball to get an out. At three outs, they go to the wall and await a peg. Be sure to cover up the coin purse if you wanna have kids when it's all said and done.
For the most part, the rules are very flexible, so you can make up hundreds of different versions, like Spread the Eagle, Drumline Wallball, or even Fireball (where you soak a tennis ball w/ gasoline, light it, and play with gloves)

If the guys at ESPN put Scrabble and the Spelling Bee on the air, I wanna see Wallball!

17👍 10👎

deez nuts

In the marching band circut, a vulgar but effective means to get a judge's attention. Just holler it and he'll probably look your way and go, "hmm, maybe I'll watch him." Either that, or do it when someone's about to fall to divert his attention.

(band playing....big attack) DA DA DA DA!
"Deez NUTS!"
"WTF?!"

9👍 29👎

romance novels

Porn written from, by, and for middle-aged women. Technically not considered "pornogropphy" since there aren't pictures (at least on paper.)

The irony of this thing is that most women against visual pornogrophy read their "romance novels" in public, which is something no porn addict would EVER do.

54👍 34👎

Yank-slang

The term used by southerners to describe the debauchery of speech of those from in or around New York. Referred to as "The King's English" by some liberal idiots either up there or from there.

"Jahn, get me sum watah, I can't get up, tha Yanks ah playn' tha Cahd'nals! It's tha bahttum uv tha seventh with twu ahuts and a runneh ahn thoid!"

"Dad, you're in Texas now. It's Saturday. Cut the Yank-slang crap and watch some freakn' football!"

36👍 46👎

Grundle Bears

A treat where you take perfectly good Gummie Bears and wipe them all up the anus region as if they were toilet paper.
In order for it to work well, there should not be poop stains on any, or the camp counselors might notice. Just the fact they've been up in there is nasty enough, trust me.

At a percussion camp, our school's drumline make a huge Ziploc bag of Grundle Bears that the college counselors snacked down. Yummy.

31👍 17👎