Guido

A man of Italian decent, who, after he has finished snorting obnoxious amounts of cocaine and fist bumped holes into your wall, would like nothing more than to take a power dump on your couch to assert his dominance and convert your daughters ez-bake oven into a tanning bed for his dick. Traditionaly a guido's goal in life is to make trashy classy.(i.e. designer wifebeaters). Guido's have often been described as a gym rat/date rapist with class.

Guy 1: " Bromeo have you heard from Tony B"
Guy 2: " Ya I was at his house yesterday. He just sat in his chair and did nothing but use his shake weight for 2 hours while maintaining that " it's not guy unless a guy actually splooges all over your face." And only then because it could ruin ones spray on tan."
Guy 1: " What a guido."

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character

an excuse that optimistic people or friends use in a last ditch effort to remain optimistic about something that can only be bad.

Optimist: "My dog shit on my rug and pissed on my wall but its okay because it adds character."

Optimistic: " My friend had his arm bitten off by a shark but its okay because having only one arm adds character."

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