Two-squared

Verb. The act of two-squaring is to intentionally leave only two squares of toilet paper on the roll, thus fooling the next user into thinking sufficient ass-wiping supplies are available when they, in fact, are not.

Frank: "I heard you broke up with Shelly. What's up with that?"

Bob: "What can I say? The bitch two-squared me one too many times."

also:

Ray: "Motherfucker! Why do I always get two-squared during my morning shit after a night of fried food and Bud heavy?"

18👍 6👎

honky beater

A honky beater is a bat normally procured through ballpark giveaways. It is known as a honky beater due to its small size relative to a nigger beater. The benchmark for nigger beater status is roughly the size of a children's T-ball bat. A honky beater, in contrast, is roughly half the size of a nigger beater, with both a shorter length and smaller barrel circumference. Based on the theory that beating a honky effectively should require less effort than beating a nigger to the same degree.

Joel: Yo, fool, we done went on down to the minor league game tonight, got us selfs some honky beaters.

Mike: Honky beaters? Bitch, you crazy. We gon' need us some nigger beaters to handle these crazy niggas.

Joel: Aw shit, and I thought we was gonna beat us some honkies tonight.

50👍 42👎

man's time

A "Man's time" is time spent in a restroom of any kind while pooping. During such times, he is not to be disturbed by anyone, least of all a woman. Man's time is often accompanied by reading materials, including (but not limited to) pornography. Not to be confused with "Woman's time" which has something to do with the menstrual cycle.

"Dad? Are you jerking off to Barely Legal during your Man's time? I just had my first period and I need to use the can."

30👍 9👎