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Walmart Fat Scooter

The mobility scooters provided by Walmart for the use of handicapped people but are usually only used by very fat people who are probably able to walk around but are either too lazy to walk or who have converted their obesity into a handicap for which they receive disability benefits. Most often seen with the front basket loaded with multiples of sugar or fat containing foods or other unhealthy food choices for someone of their size- along with a helper spouse/child/friend pushing a regular shopping cart loaded with the same. You will never, ever see an obese person driving a Walmart Fat Scooter with the basket containing excercise videos and hand weights. The typical Walmart Fat Scooter driver also seems to not have any experience in piloting the scooter as they tend to make full u-turns in aisles with other people forcing the people to move out of the scooter's way.

Dude 1: Look at that guy driving the Walmart Fat Scooter. He is huge and obese- how can people let themselves get that huge?

Dude 2: I think they get that big by using the Walmart Fat Scooter and buying bulk candy here at Walmart. Look at his basket. It's loaded up with bags of the after-Halloween sale candy!

by econobiker October 29, 2009

437👍 111👎


South Jersey

The part NOT influenced by those from New Yawk City. Prior to Atlantic City becoming a gambling hellhole (versus just a abandoned vacation city hellhole) South Jersey was pretty much an entire different land from Northern New Jersey. In fact there was a movement to sucede from Northern New Jersey in the late 1960's but it didn't work. Also reference Piney or Pinies.

The capital of South Jersey could be Vineland.

by econobiker February 22, 2005

69👍 60👎


Jersey Driver

A person from NJ who knows how to drive in the most populated state in the US yet that the car insurance companies are not friendly and will drop you if they can. Anyone used to paying 2 to 3 times the cost of car insurance that people in other states pay yet who can still drive Route 9 and not care.

After Robby graduated college in Iowa, he got a job in NJ. Upon moving there, his Iowa car insurance company dropped him since they said that "they didn't service that market." When he went shopping for new insurance it cost him three times what he had paid in Iowa for less coverage. His coworkers just laughed at him as he complained. They already knew the cost of being a Jersey Driver...

by econobiker July 11, 2008

54👍 115👎


IROC

Italian Retard Out Cruising (Seaside, NJ 1980's)
I Reek Of Cologne (see definition above)
I Race Old Cars (see both definitions above)

Frank, were you on Ocean Ave when that cologne wearing, North Jersey guido driving an IROC challenged the tommie driving a rusted out Dodge Dart to a drag race? What is he thinking? He'd lose so bad to the tommie's Dart that his hair mousse would even give out...

by econobiker July 11, 2008

40👍 36👎


IROC

Italian Retard Out Cruising (Seaside, NJ 1980's)
I Reek Of Cologne (see definition above)
I Race Old Cars (see both definitions above)

Frank, were you on Ocean Ave when that cologne wearing, North Jersey guido driving an IROC challenge the tommie driving a rusted out Dodge Dart to a drag race? What is he thinking? He'd lose so bad to the tommie's Dart that his hair mousse would even give out...

by econobiker July 11, 2008

22👍 30👎


Walmart Children

Children, ages 1 through 11, seen at Wal-Mart after 10:30pm no matter whether it is a weekday school night, holiday night, weekend night, accompanying their parents while shopping. Usually found in packs of 2 to 5 with one or two of the younger stuck drooling in the shopping cart while grabbing at items within their reach. 2 to 3 of the older ones will run amok with the parents in total ignorance of the damage being created. They cross all racial lines. The default clothing is dirty sleepwear or dirty clothing which they wore all day along with always being underdressed for cold weather- lacking coats, gloves, hats. Usually the parents with the children are a mother and aunt or mother and newest boyfriend (usually father to only the youngest child- the others being spread among two or more fathers.) They bend their parent's pathetic willpower to get cheap toys, sugary candy, or sugary drink bottles (ones with the tear off tops) or all three. This might even be their dinner since the family arrived after the in-store McDonald’s closed. In the case of the toys, the boxes are stripped off before the child’s back into the family mini-van which teaches the children the lesson of "instant gratification".

These children can also be classified as “future workers of Wal-Mart” since their parent’s failure to provide a structured family environment will generate employees who believe that working for Wal-Mart is a life goal and making $10/hour for 10 years is a good career.

John thought that he would be able to shop quickly by going to Wal-mart at 11:45pm Tuesday night but then found himself at the checkout behind a 300lb Tweety Bird shirt wearing Walmart Creature and her five Walmart Children.

John waited in line while the youngest in the cart gummed on a box of kitchen scouring pads, another girl pulled every product from the lowest display pegs and threw them on the floor, two boys fought using toy swords already ripped from the packages, the oldest girl retreived a gallon of the cheapest favored "drink" from the cooler as the mother yelled to the children's aunt in the cigarette checkout line to "Get me a carton of Basic's and a couple of packs of Marlboros for him to have when he gets home!"

John sighed and thought to himself "Our country is doomed." as he waited for the trainwreck of a family to check out.

by econobiker October 28, 2009

89👍 9👎