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collapse your wave function

To meet. Based on the fact that when a particle is "observed", its wave function collapses. Therefore, when one meets another person and observes them, one "collapses their wave function", referring to Maxwell's equation for electromagnetic propagation.

"Are your interrupts enabled ?"
"Masked until after lunch.. I gotta finish this."
"No worries, I'll collapse your wave function at about 1330."

by eighthofseven October 23, 2007

12πŸ‘ 7πŸ‘Ž


houseblinging

To overdecorate the exterior of one's place of residence with ludicrous numbers of fairy lights, inflatable santas and snowmen, flashing Santa's sleighs etc., to the point where one becomes the object of ridicule for one's neighbours and also runs up an enormous electricity bill.

"I see Jeff down the road is houseblinging again this Christmas".

"That guy by the crossroads has more lights than the Griswolds in 'Christmas Vacation', and that was houseblinging to die for."

by eighthofseven October 22, 2007

6πŸ‘ 3πŸ‘Ž


crumb blindness

Crumb blindness is a genetically transmitted condition which expresses itself similarly to haemophillia; both males and females acn be carriers, but it only exhibits itself in males.

Sufferers from crumb blindless are unable to see the mess left in food preparation areas as a result of the hasty assembly of snack foods, especially when this occurs during intervals in televised major sporting events.

The result is a kitchen strewn with torn-open bags and packets, carelessly discarded dirty cutlery, and crumbs everywhere.

When confronted with the "evidence", the sufferer from crumb blindness will profess genuine astonishment, having been completely unaware of the effects of their activity until it is drawn to their attention by their (usually female) partner.

Crumb blindness in females is extremely rare, and the subject of special study; in males, 100% of the population carry the gene, and it is expressed to some extent in over 70% of adult males.

There is no known cure, but single males tend to suffer more than those with long term partners.

"Christ ! Look at this place ! How much mess does it take to make one sandwich ?"

"Sorry, hun.... I just didn't realise......I think I have crumb blindness"

by eighthofseven August 13, 2007

4πŸ‘ 5πŸ‘Ž


Interrossiter

1. A fictional device from the film "This Island Earth" (1955, q.v.) which is an extremely powerful and flexible (if somewhat bulky)combined communications, computation and weapons system.

2. By derivation, any desireable new gadget with lots of cool features, for example a multifunction colour printer/scanner/copier, often the property of another, resulting in repeated violations of the Tenth Commandment ("thou shalt not covet ....").

3. Any piece of technical equipment beyond the understanding of Managers, e.g. pencil sharpener, doorknob, chair, cup.

4. The large-scale version of a "widget" or "thingie", which are usually quite small.

"Can you run me off a dozen copies of this on your Interrossiter ? I'll get you a coffee for it..."

by eighthofseven October 23, 2007

16πŸ‘ 4πŸ‘Ž


humanberry jam

The consequence of a really, really bad vehicle accident, in which the occupant(s) of the vehicle(s) are converted to a substance resembling jam, which is then distributed over a considerable area.

"There was a crash on the southbound side of the expressway, some poor guy on a bike ended up as humanberry jam spread acoss three lanes....."

by eighthofseven November 27, 2007

4πŸ‘ 3πŸ‘Ž


heisenberg

The last great German airship of the 1930's. It crashed because they could say where it was, or how fast it was going, but never both at the same time........

A Physicist's joke, based on a combination of Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle and the German airship Hindenburg.

"He's had three beers at lunchtime and now he's wandering round the office like the Heisenberg."

by eighthofseven October 23, 2007

73πŸ‘ 98πŸ‘Ž


blood wagon

An emergency ambulance, paramedic vehicle, or other medical assistance vehicle. Especially applicable when said vehicle has flashing lights on and sirens sounding. The passing of a Blood Wagon in full cry is usually very bad news for someone.

"Shit, I got blue flashing lights on my tail !"
"Chill out, it's just a blood wagon".

"Sorry I'm late - there was a crash on the way here, must have been nasty 'cos there were a couple of blood wagons there."

by eighthofseven October 23, 2007

11πŸ‘ 7πŸ‘Ž