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Preemptive Recycling

Stealing stuff ... often, very nice stuff, usually from work.

May include but is not limited to office supplies, computer parts, food and drink.

The justification is that the item(s) would have been thrown out anyway at some point so you're just going with the trend and saving the planet by recycling them a little "early".

Geek 1: "Check out my Blu-Ray rewriter"

Geek 2: "Oh, cool ! Where did you get it ?"

Geek 1: "Er ... it came from work ... I indulged in a bit of preemptive recycling ..."

by eighthofseven April 6, 2010

1πŸ‘ 2πŸ‘Ž


jesus bolts

The "jesus bolts" are the small, high-tensile bolts that attach the rotor pitch control push rods to the swash plateon a helicopter.

If one of these bolts fails, then one of the 'copter's rotors will be decoupled from the cyclic/collective pitch control, which is generally thought of as a Bad Thing; they are so called because if you've led a good life, afther the failure Jesus is the next person you meet.

See also zero survivability incident

Pilot: "Is this thing good to go ?"
Engineer: "Yeah, we even gave you new Jesus Bolts !"
Pilot: "Gee, thanks."

by eighthofseven August 13, 2007

17πŸ‘ 4πŸ‘Ž


Q branch

1. The special equipment unit in the James Bond novels and films by Ian Fleming. They provide all manner of outlandish gadgets, often of a bizarre and highly destructive nature.

The unit's head is known as "Q" and was portrayed in many of the films by actor Desmond Llewelyn (2nd film to the 19th).

2. By inference, a specialised higly technical department within a much larger organisation, often staffed by geeks whose work is little understood but none the less admired and respected by other employees.

Also known as "Q Section"

"Can you come to the meeting ?"
"Yeah... but I'll be a little late, I have to go up to Q Branch and get them to look at my GPS, it's playing up."

by eighthofseven October 23, 2007

13πŸ‘ 2πŸ‘Ž


collect the full set

An accident, usually involving a mechnaically-propelled vehicle, which is sufficently serious to require the attendance of all emergency services; police, fire service, paramedics, tow truck, and in extreme cases a mortuary van.

The perpetrator of the incident is said to have "collected the full set".

"Sorry I'm late, some idiot in a sports car had decide to collect the full set on the exit ramp of junction 15"

by eighthofseven January 20, 2008

10πŸ‘ 3πŸ‘Ž


Tell it to the Marines

When recounting a "tall story", the response "Tell it to the Marines" implies, "Go and tell your sea-story to some gullible landlubber, because no sailor will believe you".

Dates back to the before the Napoleonic wars, in the Royal Navy.

Pilot #1: "I lost the starboard engine on the base leg, but I still managed to bring it it for a perfect three-point greaser"

Pilot #2: "Tell it to the Marines"

by eighthofseven August 31, 2010

9πŸ‘ 3πŸ‘Ž


shih tzu

A carbon-based life form, masquerading as a dog, not yet satisfactorily proven to be of terrestrial origin.

They may be the product of genetic manipulation or some other advanced technology, as they certianly don't behave anything like real dogs; they are more like tiny furry humans. They don't talk, but that's probably only because they have such disdain for us. They may well be cats in dog suits, but no zipper has yet been located. They look like a cross bewteen an Ewok, a Mugwai and a Hobbit; they have large, round eyes with a gentle, loving expression, which conceals the vast, malign intellect within. They are clever, inquisitive, ingenious and capable of thoughtful malice and destruction. They can look and act VERY cute when they want to, and really know how to work a crowd. They may be related in some way to lephrechauns, as they seem to have a number of paranormal powers, including the ability always to be the wrong side of a closed door.

It is not disputed that for may years, Shih Tzu were the pampered pets of the Chinese Imperial family. As a result of this, Shih Tzu seem to have a racial memory of being carried round on silk cusions with golden tassels, and fed tiny morsels of tasty food by a small army of subservient flunkeys. Since this is what they are used to, this is what they expect. Any Shih Tzu inserted into a "normal" house consisting of adult and immature humans, other dogs, cats etc. will, despite their diminutive size, quickly become "boss" of the entire establishment; they have a Size Twelve personality squashed down into a Size Three body.

It is oftain said by those who do not understand them that Shih Tzu think they are human. This is not in fact correct; Shih Tzu know they are Shih Tzu, but importantly what they also know is that humans are just big pink monkeys placed on this planet to be at their beck and call every moment of the day and night, and to tend to their every whim immediately and without question. When one of their slaves fails to behave as expected, they generally adopt a puzzled, sorrowful look, as if pitying the lack of understanding.
If they do not get their own way immediately, the look of pity is replaced by what can only be described as a Special Paddington Hard Stare, swiftly followed by The End Of the World As You Know It as the docile little furball erupts into incandescent rage at your incompetence.

Depriving a Shih tzu of something it wants (Biscuits, your dinner, the middle of the double bed, the most comfy chair, a go at driving your car) can result in an orgy of destruction; expect linings pulled out of shoes, remote controls hidden under furniture, expensive audio cables chewed through, and puddles of urine on the bathroom floor as a carefully placed early morning trap for the unwary.

On the other hand, Shih Tzu often behave like living Teddy Bears, and enjoy being treated as such. They can be very affectionate and cuddly. Don't be fooled; this means that (a) they have done something bad, and are trying to build up 'credit', or more usually (b) they are planning something, and are lulling you into a false sense of security.

"Where are my socks ?"
"Oh no.... check under the bed. You know how much Shih Tzu like sucking smelly socks...."

by eighthofseven October 23, 2007

667πŸ‘ 59πŸ‘Ž


involuntary restyling

Highly visible crash damage to a motor vehicle.

"Wow ! What happened to your car ?"
"I had a discussion with a biker at the traffic lights and my front end got a bit of involuntary restyling".

by eighthofseven August 14, 2007

1πŸ‘ 2πŸ‘Ž