Tongue punching spooky farters

Tongue Punching Spooky Farters is when a ghost hunter(s) attempt to forcibly summon filthy spectres by deeply rimming the entrance to the shadow realm.

If successful, a sex ghost should appear and unleash it’s gooey ectoplasm directly on to the tongue puncher’s face. If multiple shag spirits become aroused this can result in what is known as a Phantom Splooge Bukkake Gangbang.

Can also be used as an alternative to the term ‘being on a hiding to nothing’: be unlikely to succeed, or be unlikely to gain much advantage if one does.

There’s nae point in even trying Casper, we’d be as well Tongue Punching Spooky Farters!

DaMarcus tomblob

When someone wearing light coloured shorts proceeds to unwittingly shart blood bubbles from his farter. Unaware of this manstruatuon faux pas, he wanders around displaying a design which resembles the flag of Japan if you replaced the red dot with a cannelloni smashed by a baseball bat. Later you will find him lying face down on a bed, looking as if he’s just had his ring-piece destroyed by someone, who was at least polite enough to pull his shorts back up afterwards...

Does Big Geoff not realise he wandering around with a huge DaMarcus tomblob - shouldn’t someone tell him?

Nah I quite fancy pumping his bumhole later on anyway and there’s no need for him to change his shorts twice...

Elton John's Foosty Farter

A delightful cocktail shot consisting of 1 part Cointreau, 1 part Mozart chocolate liqueur and 1 part Mozart white chocolate liqueur (or Baileys).

Should taste and resemble as if EJ has post bumlove, shoved a Terry's Chocolate Orange up his foosty farter as a buttplug to prevent man custard seepage, then as this begins to melt a willing gimp felches his manky ringpiece, spitting the contents in equal measures into shot glasses.

Barman those shots were amazing! What do you call them?

That's Elton John's Foosty Farter

Another round of EJFFs please my good sir!!!