Heckers

Northern English for As if, being short for 'By Heck as like' - direct translation being 'Like Hell it is'.

Vince: Tha' goin' t' pit th' morra?
Stan: Heckers

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Flange wipe

A towelette or wet wipe, used by a lady for hasty personal ablutions.

You can't beat a game of squash for working up a sweat, now pass me my flange wipes, I've a board meeting at 2.

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gsoh

In personal ads, an abbreviation intended to represent 'Good Sense Of Humour' but means he'll take you out to an Adam Sandler movie. Confusingly it can also stand for 'Good Salary, Own Home' - he's proud that he now has a job and has recently moved out of his mum's house.

M34 TDH GSOH WLTM BBW

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Vadge wipe

A pre-moistened towelette, a wet wipe, when used by a lady for personal hygiene.

I didn't wash when I came out tonight but I used a vadge wipe before I let your boyfriend go down on me.

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Taxi driver's tan

1) A sun tan that extends to the elbow of one arm (the offside arm), frequently displayed by taxi drivers who nonchalantly steer one handed with the other grabbing the roof, while looking in the mirror to gauge the reactions of their passenger to their reactionary opinions.

2) A tanned appearance of one finger, the result of a catastophic failure in the integrity of the toilet paper when wiping the anus.

"Sod this hotel, the water's off, the bog roll's damp and I've got a taxi driver's tan"

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