Skunk Ape

They have been known to wander desperately in need for affection from swamp rats. Due to the season when mating calls, Skunk Apes tend to follow their gut instincts by releasing the powerful odor to attract females. If you are seen when the Skunk Ape is releasing it's odors it might mistaken you for a mate. To defend yourself, you must place acorns in your nostrils to distract the beast, lay down in the fetal position, and think of Disney World. The Skunk Ape will proceed without showing interest to your mental breakdown.
P.S. - Skunk Apes are dangerous.

This article about the Skunk Ape written by yours truly,
Dr. Cunt Hair III

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