Mather's Day

the holiday celebrated on both Mother's and Father's Day by those single parents that have no actual children but only pets.

Permissible celebrations include cooking your favorite meal and feeding your pet from the table while you eat, forcing your pet to sit on the couch to watch a movie with you and buying yourself a gift, wrapping it and then opening it while you act surprised and thank your pet for the thoughtful gift.

Me and my dog sat and watched movies all day to celebrate Mather's Day this year. I'm preparing myself for when I actually have a child and we can celebrate Father's Day together.

10👍 2👎

lazidium

The secret ingredient put into food at restaurants that makes you tired and unable to be productive after you eat. Primarily found in foods from Mexican burrito shops and taco stands.

"I'm not going to be able to get anything done this afternoon. I went to Roberto's Taco Shop for lunch and they put too much lazidium in my burrito. I'm going to go take a nap under my desk.