Santa

Santa is an old man, and wears red and white. He has a thick, white beard because he forgot to shave it. He breaks into your house, delivering presents for good boys and girls. Whilst he breaks into your house, he steals the mince pies and your dad's beer, making him obese, before creeping up to the children's room to creep on them sleeping, and fills their stockings. He must be a stalker, due to the fact, he knows wear you live, your name, and whether you have been good or not. Santa has three hoes, unlike Tiger woods.

"Santa, please may I have a pony?" "Ho. Ho. Ho. Merry Christmas ____! You have been a good little girl haven't you? Let me help myself to some of your beer, thanks."

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Edward Cullen

The result of what happens when voldemort kills Cedric and he changes into a fairy that sparkles. Harry should be worried.

He stalks this stupid teenager called Bella Swan, and messes with her head. He more than likely has escaped a mental instution, having commited this crime a few years ago.

He is somehow able to have sex with Bella creating a child. However, he is supposingly dead, meaning he cannot have an erection, so I fail to see how that works.

He goes insane by one smell of her blood, yet is able to manage four days of her bleeding from down below due to her period.

Did I mention he sparkles? Well he does..

Yesturday, a guy crept into my room. He watched me all night but yet failed to get an erection when I changed.. He could be the brother of Edward Cullen!

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Selena Gomez

The opposite of Miley Cyrus.

I love Selena Gomez, she is beautiful and is true to herself. Besides, she is rather talented. Kind of like how Miley Cyrus isn't.

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