The Woodlands

The town north of Houston with a population just under 100,000 where about 10% of the population is poor or middle class, and the rest are...not. It is a town where people are supposed to cherish the environment through several programs and the environmentally friendly layout of the town, yet many residents own/are involved with oil companies. It is a town where all parents talk about what a "family-friendly community" it is, while their kids smoke crack and have an orgy in the backyard because they're too busy going to yoga classes to notice. It is a town where The John Cooper School is located...the well-known private school where most students get a sports car for their 16th birthday (not an exaggeration), and some millionaires are considered poor. It is a town where in the PUBLIC SCHOOLS, a kid driving a 2003 BMW is considered poor. It is a town where the first ad you see in the local magazine is either Gucci, Lamborghini, or Rolex. It is a town where, when in an aircraft, one might mistake a neighborhood for an unusually close group of Walmarts. It is a town where most residents under the age of 8 don't know what a Walmart is. It is a town where a 10-year-old without an iPhone is an outcast. It is a town where despite a "love of the environment", the plant people tend to love the most there is weed. It is a town where that is the only kind of weed people are aware of, because they all have gardeners.

Joe: My cousin lives in The Woodlands.

Josh: Does he have a ferrari?

Joe: He got one for his birthday, along with a helicopter.

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