Facial Johnson

The facial johnson (or the Iranian facial phallus) is a humiliating and painful condition. A facial johnson is often identified as a wart. It grows on the face anywhere above the eyes and is a particularly odd-looking wart, as it is shaped like a human penis.

It can vary in size and colour, in the range of 1 cm to 3 inches and a pale white to a deep Caribbean black (an annoying yellow colour is possible but rare).

The facial johnson can be caught in 2 ways: socialising with the infected and being a knob-face.

Billy: "Travis has been slug-wrestling for days!"
James: "He's such a knob"
Billy: "I know, has he got a facial johnson?"

Gunther: "Them fucking faggots are corking again!"
Abbey: "They're gonna get fucking bum-nuggets!"
Gunther: "And facial johnsons"

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Carting

A smuggling technique primarily invented to transport drugs, knitwear and swan's eggs from country to country.

Carting is where a female participant stores the goods in her vaginal storage compartment. Retired porn-stars and fatter woman are preferred.

Carting is illegal and embarrassing for the transporter when caught.

Police officer: "Excuse me madam, why are you limping?"
Woman: "SHIT!"
Police officer: "What's all this, you're carting!!!"
Woman: "let me off"
Police officer: "WTF mum no!!!"

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Slug-Wrestle

A term used to further define the act of masturbation. Commonly used in apt countries such as America and Glasgow. Can be referred to as a noun and verb.

Note: Not to be confused with the official olympian sport of slug-wrestling practiced explicitly in Japan.

a) "Just popping to the shed for a quick slug-wrestle"
b) "Shit my mum just caught me slug-wrestling"
c) "Your dad slug-wrestles for wood"

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Corking

A game involving homosexuals and a cork. Where one homosexual inserts a cork into their anus, they must see if they can blast the cork into the opponents eyes.

A points system is based around how much the opponent cries for and how many days they smell of wine and excrement.

The homosexual automatically wins if the 'receiving' homosexual is killed or seriously injured.

Example 1
Homo 1: "Bored?"
Homo 2: "Yes, what can we do?"
Homo 1: "Bit'a Corking?"
Homo 2: "Breathe in"

Example 2
Homo 1: "Fancy a game?"
Homo 2: "I'll get my good cork"

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Bashanked

When the act of masturbation becomes incredibly painful, and a stabbing sensation is established.
Often a result of a healthy cocktail of STI's.

a) "It hurts when i bash the pope around"

"Your a bashanker"

"lol"

b) "have you ever bashanked"

"piss off dad"