accounting

Profession in which calculator-wielding lackeys figure out ways to hide all the money the boss has spent buying pussy;
Job duties also include figuring out how to write and cash checks, prepare fraudulent financial statements, and shredding documents.

"Jack, can you call up Benny down in accounting to see if they finished cooking the books? I forgot to attach those "catering" receipts form vinny's liqours and suki's massage parlor.

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assed out

1. An unfortunate occurrence in which one gets shafted or lacks adequate resources to accomplish his mission.
2. An anal prolapse in which the sphincter muscle drops outside the anus into the medial space between the two buttocks.

1.You don't have a condon, B? I guess our assed out.
2.Damn, dog I'm assed out from these hemorrhoids. Get me some suppositories or some shit!

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