fender food

The indefinable gooey mess mess that sometimes appears on the front of your car - usually road kill, kangeroos, dingos, badgers, really really big insects etc but occassionally remenants might contain a tiny gloved hand, dog collar or leg iron..

"Step to the front of the vehicle please, could you explain this fender food please, Sir?"

"Er.. a dog?"

"Wearing a wristwatch?"

"Haha er.. god made me do it!"

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Gee

A man-boy (usually male but not exclusively) who addresses his friends 'Alright Gee' as if he were stepping out of his Bentley onto a hot South Central sidewalk with his gang member entourage after signing a huge Hip-hop recording contract instead of actually getting off his older brother's hand-me-down bicycle to go into a very provisonal UK/European convenience store to buy some more cigarettes for his mum in the rain. Must have thick local accent which almost inevitably makes his 'Rap' sound even more ludikrus..

Sorry i'm late, ran into some Gees hanging around the petrol station and one of them said "What are you looking at Dog? I'm as likely to unload my 9 into yo fat assed bitch ho!" i might have been forced to stop laughing by his friends, but his mama called him in for his tea..

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Gak Factory

The area where cocaine is taken; usually comprising a cd case, a credit or video store card, a rolled note (or cut down drinking straw), a baggie of coke and a determined and serious minded soul chopping lines, preparing to work the night shift.

Them: Nah, I didn't make it to the club, I went around Gareth's and got chained to the gak factory..

Me: Nice (shudder)

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heel food

Dog shit or something deeply unpleasent that gets stuck on the sole of your shoe / foot - similar to sole food. See also fender food

"No. don't come in the house! I don't want you just walking heel food all over my nice new rugs.."

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iHole

A militant Apple fan who can't see beyond their often self-fulfilling products - usually a recent convert.

"This iPhone 5 is the most amazing thing that ever was, look it even makes calls!"
"God, you're such an iHole.."

trouser

pretentious, useless (not in the 'for the sake of it' sense), meaningless gibberish, lies, exaggeration, any form of atonal music or ‘cutting-edge’ dance piece, unnecessary use of big, clever or showing off language – basically bullshit.

Q: How was that new restaurant/show/apartment/lawyer/urban dictionary website?
A: Trouser

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homophobia

An irrational fear of going home.
Homophob(ic) one who is reluctant for the evening to end and finally go home and face what is/not there.
Can describe one who is aware that 'home is not where the heart is, but where the tax bill is' and is reluctant to cross that threshold.

"Hey, where are we going now?"

"Whoa, it's 3pm, we've been going solid since yesterday lunch"

"Uhuh, so where are we going now?"

"I diagnose acute homophobia my friend"

"Look a taxi.."

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