stomach crunchies

When a male blows his load on a females stomach and it dries.

Guy 1: My girlfriend let the cum dry on her stomach and it made a crunchy noise when she sat up.
Guy 2: My mom likes to call it stomach crunchies.

6👍 3👎

Cow punch

Where you punch a cow so hard in the head that it has an instant abortion. This works on women too.

Guy 1: So my chick was knocked up.
Guy 2: What happened?
Guy 1: I cow punched the bitch son!

14👍 52👎

bonerscope

Where your penis sticks out of the top of your pants. Like a periscope.

Did you see that guys bonerscope? It was belly button high.

ejaculate like a firehose

When a man has an unusual or unusable amount of semen from lack of sex.

Guy: Hi, I'm Mike.

Girl: I'm Lisa.

Guy: If I ever touched your body I would ejaculate like a firehose used to quell black protests in the 60s.

Girl: <MariaCareyVoice>Touch my body...</MariaCareyVoice>

22👍 11👎