wank-speak

The use of text/msn language in speech. Amazingly infuriating to people who never do it. Dangerously contagious. Does not go down well in job interviews, essays (except those on the decline of the english language), speeches and other activities associated with importance. Mostly used by wankers and pretenshioush ironic wankers (by the way, I only spelled it wrong on purpose to make you feel better), hence the name, wank-speech.

1. Billy "Your mum will be another notch on my bedpost, LOL!!!!"
Jim "You are an utter cock, Billy"

2. Billy "So what's the matter?"
Jim "Everybody hates you. What do you say to that?"
Billy "asdf..."

3. Jim "I ate your pie."
Billy "WTF Jim?!"

4. Jim "Do you think you're cool? You're not."
Billy "STFU Jim!"

5. Jim "If you are too busy to use actual words when you speak you should consider giving up on speech altogether you wanker. Save your wank-speak for msn. Especially megalolz."

8👍 4👎

tits machine

An awesome vehicle. A behemoth in spirit but not necessarily in size.
The greatest car/plane/boat/thing you have ever driven.

The B52 was a real tits machine!

Nissan skyline, now that's a tits machine!

My cousins boat is a tits machine!

The neighbours kid has this fisher price push-kart that is a real tits machine!

25👍 16👎

dutch teacup

when you get 2 prostitutes and one cups your balls from behind while the other sucks you off

i got a dutch teacup with the milkmans wife

i didnt know she was on the game?

so is mrs fletcher

youre kidding! soon even the children will catch on

6👍 4👎

eastenders

A dangerous and highly articulate disease that affects the central nervous system for about half an hour each day. It enters the body through the ears and eyes and attaches itself to the boringopiate receptors in the brain causing symptoms similar to a large injection of heroin in some people. However the disease affects people differently. It can cause anxiety, a distortion of reality, sweating, homosexuality, skin irritation, and mild death in others. Recommended treatment consists of several large doobies, and a box set of Family guy.

Fox JK is scared of catching Eastenders.

147👍 68👎

Absinthe

One of the greatest drinks ever invented. As rumor has it, Van Gough was drinking a lot of absinthe right before he cut off his own ear. As well as that, 9 shots can be fatal apparently!! Love the mystery that is.....
ABSINTHE!
(Absinthe is a tits machine of a drink!)

Just go to the supermarket and buy some. But real absinthe is always better.

18👍 14👎

Jammin

1. Hanging out playing music
2. Generally having a bit of a laugh
3. A weed smoking game where you listen to Marley's song Jammin and have a toke every time he says Jammin. You gonna need a bigger spliff white boy, he says it a helluva lot!

1. We were jammin since Steve took his guitar and Agyness brought the washboard.
2. We were jammin, 'twas fun!
3. We were playing Jammin and my seester puked all over herself, and when Dereck tried to move her she puked on him then at hospital she came too and freaked out so much they put her back to sleep. She can't take deh weeeeeeed.

111👍 44👎

pregnancy

The female condition of being up the duff. The strongest argument for not being female in the battle of the sexes, mostly due to the pain caused by a child SPLITTING YOUR VAGINA IN SEVERAL PLACES AND MAKING YOU BLEEEEEEEEEED!!!!!!!!!!!!

...

Sorry mum.

She's in a state of pregnancy! She's up the duff! She's going to be in a helluva lot of pain in like 8 months 3 days! Better her than me. Thank you God, for bestowing upon me a boabie and not a bitch wrinkle.

21👍 243👎