Vaguebook

To seek sympathy and/or attention by posting something vague as your Facebook status. Usually the only people who ask you "What's wrong??" are lonely stay-at-home moms who want some extra gossip. The rest of the free world does not give a shit and wish you would just suck it up and shut the fuck up.

VAGUEBOOK POST: "Some people just make me so mad!!"
READERS: "Oh, God...Samantha's Vaguebooking again. I wish she'd shut the fuck up..."

VAGUEBOOK POST: "I just LOVE being backstabbed! NOT!"
READERS: "Jennie, seriously...shut the fuck up and grow some balls."

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Quacktastic

Something that's not fantastic, but you feel as though you need to be a sarcastic asshole and, at the same time, avoid having to fake your enthusiasm.

YOUR FRIEND: "Hey! I just got a new Achievement on Xbox Live!"
YOU: "Oh...that's...quacktastic."

YOUR MOTHER: "Honey, I bought you a few new shirts from JC Penny's. I hope you like palm fronds and pineapples!"
YOU: "Thanks, mom...That's quacktastic."

A KID: "Hey mister! Guess what?? I can count to 50!"
YOU: "That's quacktastic."

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Failtacular

A fail so epic, it's almost a win.

"I drove my car through a house, and somehow, I ended up on the roof. It was a failtacular."

"I managed to stick my dick in the toaster and pee out of my bread. It was a failtacular."