fuck my face

An exclamation.

A sillier substitution for 'Oh my goodness', 'Goodness me', 'I say', 'My word', 'Well I never', etc. Nice with a British-ish accent but can also be used for 'Gee' and 'Wow', etc.

Fuck my face! It's enormous!

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fedding

Fake wedding: A celebration for women who have concluded they don't want to/might not get married but don't want to miss out on their 'big day'. A response to the fact that most women only want to get married for a) the proposal (flattering) and b) the party (more undivided attention). An opportunity for ladies to spend a foolish amount of money on a dress they will wear once, a decent hairdo, a massive cake, flowers, a chauffer-driven entrance, a good time for all their loved ones and a photographer (to capture the 'blushing' hostess in as much glory as her middle-age can muster). Ideally combined with 40th birthday celebrations to encourage the co-operation of one's nearest and dearest, as opposed being branded an 'asshole'.

You're invited to attend my fedding this April. (You'd better be there as I'll be having a whale of a time, whether you are or not, and the pictures won't look as good if I'm alone.)

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