Any Star Trek geek with a uniform that is obligated to serve under your beck and call so that they can bask in their own, bemusing glory of 'serving as an officer.'
A huge suck-up to any figure of authority in the army, Star Trek, or any other Sci-Fi movie with a commanding officer.
Also known as "Wesley Crusher"
You: Aw, shiz, I left my cat outside in the freezin rain.
Super Ensign: I can do that! *jumps out window and into yard, comes back with cat*
You: Thanks, ensign.
Super Ensign: *squee*
An opportunity to stuff your face with snacks, deck yourself out in face paint while bellowing like a fratboy even though you're a thirteen-year-old girl, sounding more like a drunk trucker, and to listen to all the white rap songs about the packers.
Oh, and football. But who watches the Superbowl for football?
You: Hey, the Superbowl is on tonight!
Her: WHOOOOOOOO YEAAAAAAAAAAH GO PACKAS~
You: Woah there...
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