weed minutes

The perceived length of time at which one actual minute passes in the visceral world of someone under the influence of THC. Most commonly, "weed time" constitutes a multiplicatively extended period from reality to visceral perception, e.g. 5 minutes seems more like 10-20 minutes (i.e. 5 real minutes equal 10-20 weed minutes).

"Hey, Benjarvis! How long till we reach our destination of 'Burger King?'"
"Well see, Ermelinda, it'll probably be about 10 more minutes. But since we are high on 'THC,' the perceived amount of time will most likely be far greater than that - say, half an hour in 'weed minutes,' as they are called."
"Oh, cinnamon and gravy!"

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Microsoft minute

A unit of time whose literal length is constantly changing due to rapid miscalculations of a computer wielding an operating system developed by Microsoft (i.e. Windows 95).

"Say, Benny! How long is it gonna take for this program to install?"
"Well Garrison, it says here just 3 more Microsoft minutes. You never know with those Microsoft minutes, though. It could be another six hours... but if we're lucky it'll only last one!"

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