Cuntrina

A backstabbing bitch who is ugly and whorange (Snookie) and slimy and greasy and stupid. Often sports fake jet-black hair. Ugly stained teeth of a horse. Due to lack of love in general, she puts out uncontrollably in order to fill a void that at this rate will remain eternally empty due to her indecency and heartless disposition. It is suspected that she is a female but common sightings of the beast often prove otherwise. Do not let her pseudo-philosophy fool you because her Poptart brain is filled with gumbo. She talks like a grown man retard playing chubby bunny. Her cackle resembles that of a dying gopher. You may find her at your local YMCA, as she has gained the "freshman 15." If you sight a Cuntrina, simply ignore her by walking away to avoid satisfying her craving for recognition by human beings. She will try to talk to communicate with you via incomprehensible man-mumbling, but you will not understand.

Cuntrina: "Uhhhh uhhh buhhuhh muhuhmmfh fmmmahh."
Megan: "One....cunt.......rina...(I fucking hate Cuntrina)"
Cuntrina: "schuuuuuh duhhh hnuhhh."

Cuntrina: "I slept with my best friend's ex-boyfriend!"
Human: "What a cunt."

Human 1: "I think I saw a Cuntrina lurking around the dining hall today"
Human 2: "What a cunt."

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The Troll

Like Troll Dolls, The Troll is rather fubsy, making her supernatural deceptiveness all the more insidious to her unsuspecting victims. With stumpy little legs stemming from her stout stature, The Troll comfortably dwells in damp and dark places, such as under rickety old bridges or on the inferior second floor of a college residence hall. Her knappy, afro-textured hair bears unquestionable resemblance to the multicolored tangled nest of hair atop Troll Dolls' heads. Her wicked red eyes are themselves a life-sucking force that reflect the blazing depths of hell that reside deep within her shattered soul. Whoever said that Reese Witherspoon and Anna Faris are cursed with unfavorably large foreheads must never have encountered the gaping expanse of flesh between The Troll's demonic eyes and grisly hair. 

The Troll is undoubtedly possesses many psychopathic personality traits. Entirely detached from reality, The Troll distorts the truth about not only present situations but also her past in an unsuccessful attempt to make herself more appealing. Her unforgivable duplicity results from her obstinate emulation of others. The Troll's performs a self-prescribed apathy that supposedly makes her incapable of feeling a range of human emotions. Thus, The Troll is uniquely misunderstood in her isolation from society. This destructive world view nurtures her egocentricity and arrogance.  

SMC Student #1: "Miss Tina makes the best cookies! They are so warm and gooey!"
The Troll: "In high school, everyone asked me to come over and make cookies for them. I make the best cookies. Want to know my secret as to how to make them gooey? I smash them."

The Troll: "...And I could totally tell that he was an engineer. All engineers have such low, raspy voices."
SMC Studnet #2: "Ummm that's not true at all. My brother is an engineer major and he doesn't have a low voice..."
The Troll: "..."

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