functional dysfunctional

A person whom while able to minimally function in society, hold a job (at varying degrees of success), feed, clothe & house themselves still remain a disaster at nearly all other personal & social aspects of life.

They are your severely disturbed, paranoid and/or inappropriate coworkers, family & friends, yet remain gainfully employed, operate vehicles daily and manage to not starve to death.

Because of their multiple failed relationships and substance abuse charges, Brittney & Lindsey remain the poster children for the functional dysfunctional.

11👍 6👎

retail alumni

A fan of a college or university's sports team only because they bought or own a shirt from it but never graduated from it.
Their exclusive association is through being a fan of the college or university's sports team.
Often the fan is too stupid to graduate college but can regurgitate great volumes of team fact, history and legend.

Steve is a retail alumni for Alabama only because his inbred uncle-daddy and cousins are also a retail alumni.
None of them have even set foot on campus, let alone attended, and probably couldn't even show you where it was on a map.

forty four change-up

Someone that looks good at forty feet away, but not so good at four feet away.

Steve : Hot chick at 11 o'clock!
Mike : Where?
Steve : Across the room and coming past!
Mike : Uh...
Steve : Oh... !
Mike : Never mind, butter face.
Steve : Dog ears.
Together : Forty four change-up

3👍 3👎

Ricia

A wonderful & beautiful woman. A child of God, loved by her husband and family, artist, student & teacher of nature, art, music & kitchenology.

I am blessed to have grandchildren of Ricia.

13👍 6👎

beauty candle

An attribute which begins to burn immediately at first impression as the viewer becomes increasingly aware the subject is indeed NOT attractive to look at.
Typically, as a romance wanes the candle burns faster.

The beauty candle for some women burns rather rapidly; almost a flare, really.

For others the beauty candle burns slow, taking hours, days or even years to realize "Hmm... She's kinda weird looking. Not pretty at all. What was I thinking"

non-thriving organism

NTO; A person, pet or creature destined to pitifully struggle through a miserable life just barely on the threshold of existence due to mental defect, congenital stupidity or substance abuse.

Maybe just a half-step below the functional dysfunctional.
An NTO will be lucky to survive to achieve reproductive maturity, not that they'll have the opportunity once there.

Unable to hold a steady job, Steve moved back home with his mom, again, whom was gravely disappointed at her adult non-thriving organism son.

2👍 1👎

relevant procrastination

Performing arguably "useful" searches in a store or on the internet when in fact you're just wasting time and goofing off.

Instead of scouring the bookstore or internet for assistance with his calculus homework, Steve spent untold hours engaged in relevant procrastination researching netbook computers "for his mom".