Widow's memory

Any type of large sausage such as a saveloy as it resembles a penis.

"Do you fancy a bit of fish with your chips tonight"

"Nah, I'm in a meaty mood, I think I'll have a Widow's memory instead"

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Riding the Cotton wool donkey

A term for a woman being on her period.

"How did you get on with that new fit bird the other night, did you shag her?"

"Nah, I only got a bit of tit as she was riding the cotton wool donkey."

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Slip her a crippler

Another term for sexual intercourse, usually the rear entry position.
The idea is that the man's vigorous performance will inhibit the woman's ability to walk immediately after intercourse. This is of course a complete fallacy.

"Did you get your end away last night?"

"Yeah, I bent her over & began to slip her a crippler, just under her bum"

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