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frat curlers

In utilizing a gym's weights and exercise equipment, it is common knowledge that there is a certain code of etiquette that all must adhere to in order for the gym to run functionally. "Frat Curlers" do the exact opposite. A "Frat Curler" is normally easily to spot, for they are usually the skinniest and most thin of all men "working" out at a gym. Because of their sheer size, they resort to wearing "wife-beaters" or cut up tank tops to show off their well defined, enormously vascular 13 inch arms and 28 inch chest. They are always wearing some type of fitted baseball hat, usually the local college they attend (or pretend to attend, as is usually the case in northwest Indiana). They also always have tattoos. Frat Curler tattoos are always easily identified because they are cliche'd, lame and about 5 years out of style. Straight up, their barb wire/tribal/chain around the arm, Big hollow sharp point cross, Japanese/Chinese/Asian character font on the arm are "played out". A Frat Curler never does his research or bothers to try out anything innovative that would gain him an upper hand in trying to get a bigger body, hence the "reason" most frat curlers come to the gym is to try and hit on "cardio bunnies". Frat Curlers completely ignore all aspects of afforementioned "gym etiquette" by picking up a barbell, loading it up with a few plates, then having the audacity to stand in the power cage/squat rack and perform bicep curls, much to the dismay of actual bodybuilders and weight lifters that are at the gym to get something accomplished. It doesn't just stop there though, as the typical frat curler has to try and show off how amazingly HUGE his 13 inch teenage girl looking arms are by flexing in the mirror after he finishes his NO-XPLODE Drink and finishes his "dude!" every-3-word conversation on his iphone.
If you see a frat curler at your gym, please drop a 25 pound plate on his sandaled feet, this will act as a repellant and you will be able to squat/deadlift in the power cage/rack in peace, the way it should be.

Think of a "prep" with shaggy hair, wearing a wife beater and college hat and you have a "frat curler"

Frat Curlers usually leave plates around, with complete disregard to gym etiquette.

frat curlers usually have a physique similar to Hannah Montana: small and weak

by gatesoftanhauser April 1, 2008

85👍 24👎


Regulation Ranger

The US ARMY has always maintained its' own cultural norms and behaviors. Longstanding jokes and traditions are part of the very make up and fabric of everyday soldier life. One such longstanding, common euphymism was the identification of "Barracks" titles. There was the "Barracks Barber", usually a lower enlisted who would undercut the Post barber by offering cheaper (and usually better) haircuts within the actual barracks. Of course, there came to be a "Barracks Lawyer" to compliment whatever legal dispute or disciplinary claims that soldiers inquire about. To supercede the "Barracks Lawyer" there is now such an appropriate personal title as "Regulation Ranger". Usually a Regulation Ranger has over an average of 7 years of total service, and usually at least one combat deployment. By a wide margin, most Regulation Rangers happen to hold a rank of Staff Sergeant or above. Most Regulation Rangers are ARMY RESERVISTS as well, and hold absolutely zero authority in their regular, stateside, full time career. As a result of their obvious insecurity towards their duties as a leader, most Regulation Rangers study the ARMY Regulation books in their free time. The point of studying regulation books is so that they may exert their authority over those subordinate to them. Most Regulation Rangers are not only insecure, but many have power and responsibility complexes as well. Never far behind a unit commander or senior NCO is a Regulation Ranger, always manipulating and methodically playing "games" so as to implement more and more useless rules. When the implementation of a new rule is emplaced, a Regulation Ranger is satisfied. Unfortunately, this micromanagement doesn't stop, for it spreads among their like-minded counterparts that are bucking for rank. The only way to defeat a Regulation Ranger is to outperform and outclass them in every possible aspect.

Usually being in the ranks of E-6 to E-9, most Regulation Rangers are insecure and have control complexes.

A Regulation Ranger can implement whatever rules they wish to, and often make up redundant, useless rules right on the fly.

"Hey, you can't wear a knife on your belt. It says so in the regs!"

"Hey! You're only allowed to lift weights after 1700, it was put out in the regs"

"You're not allowed to take more than one pop-tart from Class 1. It says somewhere in the regs!"

by gatesoftanhauser May 15, 2009

2👍 4👎


Crucified Pumpkin

Extreme Black Metal band formed in 1998 by members Ovenroaster (vocals), Cat Strangler (drums), Dictator (bass) and CaveTroll (guitars). Hailing from Jerkstud, Norway, the five original members met while in high school and set out to make "the scariest, most uber grim extreme metal out there". Rather than just relying on the extreme blast beat drums and tremolo picking guitar playing of their Black Metal contemporaries, Crucified Pumpkin added other experimental atmospheric touches to their radical style of metal. After deciding that keyboards would solidify their line-up, Crucified Pumpkin was set to record. Mopp (keyboards) joined the band in the summer of 1998, and brought a fury of classical piano experience with him. Mopp had recently been fired from the Oslo Symphony Orchestra over accusations that he had begun practicing Beastiality with a pet chicken backstage before performances. The adding of fart noises and toilet flush sound effects to their 1998 debut "Jack O' Lenten Death" resulted in a series of underground tours, but not much publicity for the band. Finally, extreme Black Metal band Shroudghoul asked Crucified Pumpkin to open up for them on the former Soviet Blok tour in 1999. Fellow Black Metal band Tombmaster joined the two bands on the tour in Turkmenistan. Regular shows for Crucified Pumpkin included violent, shocking imagery, including scarecrows crucified upside down, crow's blood smeared on the band members and corn stalk impalements. On the night of March 4th, 1999, Tombmaster lead singer Cryptkeeper got into a backstage fist fight with Crucified Pumpkin drummer Cat Strangler and left to go back to his band tent. Tombmaster tour manager Rod took Cat Strangler on a beer run, but Cat Strangler ended up leaving Rod at the liquor store and driving back to the concert arena. Cat Strangler then killed Cryptkeeper with a potato cannon in a drive-by fashion. Cat Strangler was found guilty of pre-meditated murder with a Tuber, which carries a 23 year sentence in Norway.
Cat Strangler's "potato cannon drive by" of Tombmaster lead singer Cryptkeeper was seen in the Black Metal community as more funny than serious, especially since it had done little to overshadow the Mayhem murders 5 years earlier. Still, with Cat Strangler's conviction after the '99 tour, Crucified Pumpkin was left without a drummer. Lead Singer Ovenroaster, bassist Dictator, keyboardist Mopp and guitarist CaveTroll decided to rehearse drummers for the position. Many drummers tried and failed to meet the standards of the remaining band members. The rejected list included:Nick Barker, Tony Laureano, Frost, Horgh, Inferno, HellHammer. Finally, the band would find Cat Strangler's replacement with longtime Black Metal session drummer Casserole. Their line up solidified, Crucified Pumpkin would again enter the studio in late 2000 to record for their next effort: "Trick or Treat Slaughter". After another series of tours in Africa and central Asia, Crucified Pumpkin sought a break due to "writer's block" and "lack of creative direction". Not much is known about the period of 2002-2007, because all members went back to Norway to work in their respective daytime jobs. Finally, in 2007, CaveTroll, Ovenroaster and Casserole had begun meeting in Jerkstud, Norway to sample some new ideas for a new album. The band re-united to record "The Rotting Season" in early 2008. Tracks such as "The Great Scarecrow's Demise", "The Autumn Offering" and "Howling at an Orange Moon" saw an even more diverse range of synth from keyboardist Mopp, and even drummer Casserole sampled new items for te drum tracks such as infant toys and children's xylophones. "The Rotting Season" was released on June 23rd, 2008, amidst great fan expectations and confirmation of a world tour in late 2008/2009. The tour locations (so far) include: North Korea, Pakistan, Botswana, Tajikistan, Latvia, Chad, Niger, Ethiopia, Kazakhstan. Also in the works is a Live DVD to be shot on location in Jalalabad, Pakistan to be titled: "Once Sent From a Gourded Hall". Although never able to tour Chechnya due to security concerns, many Russian soldiers claim the "Jack O' Lenten Death" track "The Patch Exorcism" as an unofficial battle hymn in their anti-insurgency war against militant Muslims.

Crucified Pumpkin discography:
Drinking the Demonic Seed Juice (EP) 1998
Jack O' Lenten Death (1999)
Trick or Treat Slaughter (2000)
Sacrificial Corn Stalk: Live from Hormuz (2002)
The Rotting Season (2008)

Crucified Pumpkin are absolutely shocking and brutal live and in concert.

Crucified Pumpkin's fans are insane.

by gatesoftanhauser July 1, 2008

5👍 15👎