Slapdickery

Slapdickery is when a bunch of stupid shit is happening around you or when you are in close proximity to one or more slapdicks.

I can't believe anyone is fucktarded enough to vote for Biden, but 80 million fucktards is a buttload of slapdickery.

I've got to get the fuck out of this Starbucks, it's loaded with Liberals and I can't handle the slapdickery.

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Thirsty Joe

When a man is deprived of sex for an unreasonable amount of time by his angry girlfriend but he is honor bound so he resorts to creepshots at the local college Target. Then proceeds to get caught by his girlfriend. Ironically destroying his honor.

Johnny: Damn bruh, Becky is so pissed because I got caught taking creepshots at the Target when I said I was picking up baby formula.

Dave: Well maybe if she would give up the gash you wouldn't be such a Thirsty Joe all the time.

cocksplinter

A cocksplinter is someone who is super fucking annoying. So annoying that it is as bad as having a splinter in your cock.

Johnny: My neighbor is such an asshole. He's putting his Christmas lights up and it's not even Halloween yet.

Dave: Yeah, he's a real fucking cocksplinter!

Gnarlburger

ahh bro you know when you see something and its like total gnarlburger man

Ho brahh, me and Bill were out catching some tasty ones and they were total gnarlburger bruhh

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griffinated

This is what happens to you when you unlawfully impersonate a person on Twitter without making users aware that it is a parody account. Most often it is loud mouth, irrelevant liberals and washed up and b grade Hollywood actors who are trying to push propaganda for their puppet masters. It's certainly no loss. It's like they themselves said, "Twitter is a privately owned company and they can silence whoever they want. Go create your own platform if you don't like it you Nazis" So we took their advise and created Truth Social and then took over their beloved Twitter. Now Twitter is fun and fair, allowing all groups to express their opinions without being censored and silenced. You know, restoring American values thus preventing communist style censorship.

Jose: Finally that idiot Kathy Griffin was permanently suspended from Twitter. She's not only a ghastly looking hag who hates America but her face puts a well used catchers mitt to shame.

Dave: Yeah buddy, she got griffinated for sure. Bette Midler is probably next. Severe cases of TDS and years of having their handlers balls slap off of their face causes that old baseball glove appearance. It takes a professional make-up artist at least 12 hours to make their faces presentable enough to not scare children. Coincidentally scaring children is one of their hobbies.

Unborn Crib Midget

Slang for sperm, jizz, spunk, nut and cum.

Randy: Dood, I just wanked off inside of Rogers sisters panties. I put them back in her dresser after I drained my sack.

Bud: Ahh you left her some unborn crib midgets did ya? I sure she'll be appreciatin that eh? Nothin makes a girl happier than a good ole anonymous unborn crib midget surprise. You're a real panty vigilante.

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Alabama Santa

When an uncle or other relative gets drunk on Southern Comfort, dresses up like Santa and proceeds to punch the clown until he empties his sack all over a tree he dragged into the trailer. This has been known to take place any time of year.

Skeeter: Dang son, uncle Cletus done put on his uniform again. Is it July 4th already?

Mudd: Naw peckerhead it's October. Grab the camcorder Skeet we bout ta witness us an Alabama Santa. Ima post it on my facebook. It'll be a real online hootenanny.

Skeeter: Be careful man I got done banned for posting up me and my cousin Trixie doin a Minnesota Manicure on aunt Ginnys timeline.