Shitlocker

Another name for the Bitlocker whole-disk encryption software provided with Windows, especially when it's not working correctly and you don't have the recovery password.

Idiot: "I forgot my password, can you unlock my computer?" Technician: "No, it's got shitlocker on it you idiot"

ass monkey

Something you should never, ever call a black person because they consider it racist (no matter how many white ass monkeys you've also called out).

Guy in hospital: "All I remember is Tyrone insulted my mamma so I called him an ass monkey, and then everything went dark and I woke up here."