Ooft, I haff!

From the same phrase family as 'i have', 'i would', 'i'd tap' etc.
Used when somebody is particularly impressed by something, most frequently a person. Literally means 'I have', but said in a German accent to give it that extra 'ooft!'.

"Did you see that cumslut last night? I had her a few days ago... she walked past and i was all like 'Ooft, I haff!'"

Boy sees profile picture of hxc emo hawt grrll, and comments: NO JK JK JK LOLOLOL, I HEART UR FXCKING MAKE UP OMG I LOVE UR HAIR. OOFT, I HAFF!

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Poorice

Poorice can be whatever you want it to be. But there is a catch. Poorice can be whatever you want it to be, EXCEPT FOR POORICE. Poorice can be a noun, an adjective, a verb, an adverb, a metaphor, a simile... anything. It just can't be poorice.

"This cider tastes like poorice. Waaaaah."

Girl: Does this dress make my butt look big?
Friend: It makes your butt look poorice.

Confused: You say poorice can be whatever you want it to be...
Explainee: Except for poorice... :)
Confused: Yes. But what IS poorice?
Explainee: Whatever you want it to be, except for poorice :) duh.
Confused: BUT WHAT IS POORICE?
Explainee: Eurgh, give up.

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