bastard factor

A scale (1 to 10) that describes the likelihood of a vicious old person calling someone a bastard for little or no reason.

I asked the neighbor to keep her dog off my lawn, and she called me a bastard. Wow! That's crazy -- she must have a bastard factor of at least 7.

Gorn

I was feeding ducks at the pond, and an old Gorn came out of that house and tore into me like an angry hornet.

I was feeding the ducks at the pond and an old Gorn came out of that house and tore into me like an angry hornet.