Poached

When a man is stalked and picked up by a woman.

Friend: how did you guys meet?
She: I saw him walking down the street and found him interesting so I followed him. Then I poached him!

double geezer

Pronounced "double-jeezer": when your girl joins you in the bathtub, wraps her legs around you, presses her anus against yours and farts into it.

My girl just gave me a double geezer! Turned the bathtub into a huge fart bong. I can still feel that shit!