Urtification

Flogging oneself with a fresh nettle plant

ancient treatment for relief of illnesses such as chronic rheumatism, lethargy, coma, paralysis, typhus, and cholera.

Fred: nettles, I must have more nettles!

Jim: I think you have a bad case of urtification.. don't do anything rash

Fred: aaaaaaahhhhhh!

Fabricanted

Attempting to deflect attention away from your boss by wearing a wig that looks like a deceased cat and talking nonsense.

The tweet claiming nurses and teachers were drinking on shift was entirely fabricanted