goat parade

n. Any needlessly festive over-hyped celebration put on for the benefit of the organizers rather than the participants. Usually arranged by a government agency or a corporation to show that they are one with the people.

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Why all the bunting and balloons on Main Street? Did we finally win a war?

No. It's another goat parade. We're honoring finger-painters that have made a difference.

Will there be cake?

Perth

place. Semi-aquatic Australian city of almost mythological beauty. Tall spires arise from the surf's edge and mobile causeways transport tourists past the grist mills and anorak factories to wide white surf beaches calm enough for the kiddies.

Settled largely by Greek farmers rather than transported labourers, Perth became a magnet for muticulturism and sailing regattas as well as an oasis for the non-sporting types.

Iconic buildings such as the South Perth Magistrates Courthouse and the Wallaby enclosure at the Banamara Zoo dot the landscape and attract the bemused stares of visitors.

The America's Cup yacht race was once held near Perth but those heady days of glory are on hiatus just now.

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After a long trek across the Western desert it's almost comforting to see the spires of Perth in the distance.

Too right mate. Pass me some kangale from the grubsack

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tux deductible donation

n. Money given to graduate or groom to help him defray costs of hi-jinks-related tuxedo damage.

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Who knew orange spray paint would not wash out?

Yeah. You should totally give Larry a tux deductible donation.

As if.

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olympic "athlete"

n. Any participant in an olympic event that obviously isn't a real sport, eg. ice-curling, luge, modern pentathalon. Often these people are smokers, out of shape, and Canadian.

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Hey! Hand me a Snickers bar! It's kind of boring out here on the curling rink. But at least I'm living the dream.

Here you go, eh, my olympic "athlete".

You didn't put air quotes around "athlete" did you?

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wankle

n. Any part of the human anatomy that is particularly fine, or erotic.

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Hey now. Look at the wankle on that.

You are quite sexist. You know that, right?

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Boston

place. Fine American city with tendency to worship bearded champs who take pride in doing their best. Peopled by gracious folk who cheer lustily and don't engage in ceremonial destructive riots. Also one of the birthplaces of freedom. Home of many museums, rock quarries and displays honouring the displaced native americans.

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See the game?

You bet! Boston Rules!

Party!!!

Sensibly of course.

Of Course!!!

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crypter

n. Any ridiculously old "rocker" who insists on dancing about with his parchment-like skin sagging off his face and his shirt unbuttoned.

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My eyes! My eyes!

What's wrong dude?

I just saw Mick Jiggler unbutton his shirt! This concert should have had a crypter warning. Hand me another beer.

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