Debtmas

n. The period after Christmas in which you struggle to pay for Christmas.

Hey! What's your family doing for Debtmas this year?

I've got us all jobs in a coalmine.

Sounds festive!

12👍 6👎

mushroom roulette

n. exhilarating game played by picking and eating fungi in the forest; will it be tasty or will it be deadly?

I can't feel my eyeballs and I'm vomiting blood.

Ahh. I'm guessing you've been playing mushroom roulette ... and you're losing.

27👍 12👎

don the white hat

v. phrase. surrender; lower one's standards. Inspired by Queen Elizabeth's refusal to put on any cowboy hats, feathered headresses, ball caps etc. that are offered but can be used in regard to any clothing item (tuxedo, grad gown) , job, dinner with in-laws etc.
.

The prom is this weekend. Are you gonna don the white hat?

I'm a gonna go alright but I ain't no white hat donner.

Then you might not get no punch.

I'll tell you who's gonna get no punch and it ain't gonna be you!

8👍 4👎

whoopsy fish

Exclamation of joy shouted at odd British sporting events such as cricket, soccer and vicar's wick when a player is severely injured, or, conversely, when a player's shoe comes off. Also a sexual act.

.....................................................................................

Cor Blimey! Did you see that! Whoopsy Fish! Whoopsy Fish!

Stunning rudeness that! Where's the administrator with his tiny whistle. The chap's been stumped. Oh, I say. This just isn't on.

12👍 4👎

spinal fusion precursor

n. Any dangerous activity that might result in a broken neck. Originally used in radical skateboarding it is now used in everyday situations. Also a sexual euphemism.

.............................

I'm going to tell the boss where he can stick his stupid new ideas for productivity.

Have you given anyone a spinal fusion precursor before?

A couple of times, but don't change the subject.

15👍 7👎

dust monkey

n. Originally a trainee in an asbestos mine who cleared the fine carcinogenic fibres off the tram lines but now any lowly employee who is tasked with any unpleasant, dangerous or tedious job.

.............................

1) Get a team of dust monkeys into the kitchen right away. The McFryer is making that funny sound and I think she's going to blow!

2) Where's me new dust monkey? A gale be blowing up astern and the mizzen mast be luffing.

29👍 4👎

football seasoning

n. A certain uniquely attractive flavor that football adds to the autumn.
.............................

Man, the atmosphere around here is dead gruesome. The world is bland ... bland I tell you!

Wait until next week. That is when the football seasoning is going to spice up your life.

21👍 4👎