hammer throw

n. Perhaps the most arcane and archaic field event still contested at the Olympics and only marginally less silly than tug o'war or tossing the caber as a competition for grown ups. Strong lobbying by Canada and Scotland, who use hammer throwing in their cross-training for tossing granite rocks in ice-curling, keeps the sport from going the way of the Dodo and the standing fish-slap.

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Do you think folks would watch the hammer throw if we made the competitors stand in deep sand and wear skimpy bathing suits?

No.

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vuvuazalea

An annoying, loudly colored, flower, flower bed, or flower arrangement.

The subtle colors in the wedding photos were totally ruined by the vuvuazaleas the bridesmaids were holding.

Nobody can relax in the park since they put in those godforsaken vuvuazaleas!

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Rimbey

n. small town in Alberta, Canada largely populated by the interbred offspring of hippies and American draft-dodgers who didn't hear about the amnesty. Furtively growing weed and selling each other badly-strung beaded necklaces are the major industries. Tourism has been in decline since 1897 when the three-headed calf died. In 1999 a death-punk band played a gig at the pool hall prompting the passage of a country music only bylaw. Gopher heads are accepted as currency by most shop owners and, for reasons lost in the mist of time, every resident must carry a live rooster.

I shot a few gophers on the weekend. Would you like to drive to Rimbey to pick up some necklaces?

No. Not really.

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