scrotoma

n. Numb, denervated, essentially “blind” patch of skin on the genitals caused by nerve damage during a surgical repair of a groin hernia.

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Oooo! You like that don’t you baby!?

Sorry? Were you touching me? My surgeon said that after my operation I would have a very numb, very large scrotoma.

Well, it’s numb all right, Sugar. But from here it don’t look all that large.

New Jersey

place. Quaint little city with good views of the majesty of New York if the wind is from the proper quarter. Founded by folks looking to germinate anthematic rockers and harvest the bounty of someone else’s lands, New Jersey has become a land of opportunity for Finnish ice hockey players, Springsteen impressionists, oddly-named “actresses” and purveyors of amusing t-shirts.

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“New Jersey In the Mist” would be a good album title.

A what? How old are you?

oilering

n. Chiling and watching some top-notch hockey on the tube. Brews not optional. Also a sexual euphemism in Canada.

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Dude! Up for some oilering? Crosby’s in town.

I don’t know. Still a little sore.

blinkie

n. Brief nap. Also a sexual euphemism.

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I need a little break before I can finish this operation. Who wants to join me for a blinkie? Sterile nurses only.

goaliefight

n. An ice hockey event so clumsily comicsl and so outrageous that all sports media will show it and thereby increase the fan base of a marginal dying sport. (Except in Latvia and some parts of Canada). Also used in the sense of a metaphor.

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That senate trial was a real goaliefight, eh? We don’t have politics like that in Latvia.

bi-den

n. Room that is kind of a man-cave and kind of an artsy/sewing room.

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If you need me and Bruce we’ll be down in the bi-den, making NFL throw cushions.

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bladderhell

n. Incredibly difficult work assignment in which one struggles to overcome seemingly insurmountable difficulties such as bad lighting, smoke, bleeding etc and an increasing surfeit of urine.

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Where is the general surgery resident? I want to give her some pointless tasks.

Bladderhell. Again.