masking tape

n. Sticky tape used to repair and to attach masks to the face.

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Dude! I can see your tonsils. Let me get you some more masking tape.

thunburger

n. Tasty lunch item made from healthy renewable nematodes in a carbon-minus kitchen. Also a Swedish sexual activity involving reindeer herders that is often mistaken for a Lappdanse.

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God morgan Greta! Join me later for a thunburger in my solar car? Then we can walk to the breezy shore at sunset, calculate how much freely-available wind, solar and tidal energy was under-utilized by the planet, again, then spit in frustration at the stupidity of humans.

You hade me vide thunburger!

scrotoma

n. Numb, denervated, essentially “blind” patch of skin on the genitals caused by nerve damage during a surgical repair of a groin hernia.

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Oooo! You like that don’t you baby!?

Sorry? Were you touching me? My surgeon said that after my operation I would have a very numb, very large scrotoma.

Well, it’s numb all right, Sugar. But from here it don’t look all that large.

New Jersey

place. Quaint little city with good views of the majesty of New York if the wind is from the proper quarter. Founded by folks looking to germinate anthematic rockers and harvest the bounty of someone else’s lands, New Jersey has become a land of opportunity for Finnish ice hockey players, Springsteen impressionists, oddly-named “actresses” and purveyors of amusing t-shirts.

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“New Jersey In the Mist” would be a good album title.

A what? How old are you?

oilering

n. Chiling and watching some top-notch hockey on the tube. Brews not optional. Also a sexual euphemism in Canada.

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Dude! Up for some oilering? Crosby’s in town.

I don’t know. Still a little sore.

blinkie

n. Brief nap. Also a sexual euphemism.

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I need a little break before I can finish this operation. Who wants to join me for a blinkie? Sterile nurses only.

goaliefight

n. An ice hockey event so clumsily comicsl and so outrageous that all sports media will show it and thereby increase the fan base of a marginal dying sport. (Except in Latvia and some parts of Canada). Also used in the sense of a metaphor.

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That senate trial was a real goaliefight, eh? We don’t have politics like that in Latvia.