Cat Distribution System

CDS A discrete and mysterious framework of assigning and delivering cats to unsuspecting persons. Functions on unknown parameters; furthers unknown wills. It's workings are usually perceived as random or lucky events.

there is reason to suspect that this is in fact a deliberate scheme devised by a global network of feline intelligentsia as a means to facilitate the gradual subversion of the human race

Guy: my buddy and his wife has a cat now, he says it came to them randomly as they were saying their vows at their wedding. He has only God to thank for that one!
Guy2: Heck, that's awesome. But it wasn't God. It was the Cat Distribution System.