Government Shit

A bowel movement generously paid for by taxpayer dollars. Considerably more satisfying than its mundane civilian counterpart.

Smith: "Jenkins, where have you been? We're five minutes late to the briefing. And why are you smiling?"

Jenkins: "Why, I just took a Government Shit!"

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stalagtron

A long spindly rock formation, found in caves, that protrudes from the cave wall in a horizontal fashion. This formation is similar in appearance to a stalactite or stalagmite but much less common.

Mark: Oh my god, come check out this stalagtron.

Will: You have got to be kidding.

Mark: No way, check it out, it's at least 13 feet long and completely horizontal.

Will: Get the hammer, we're never going to have to work another day in our lives.

likebomb

The act of systematically "liking" everything on a person's Facebook wall so that they have dozens of updates that are in reality only your "likes".

Harold: What's wrong, bro?

Dennis: I logged onto Facebook and I saw like 45 updates and I thought that a bunch of people had commented on my new album from my trip, but when I clicked on it, it was just Vince likebombing my wall.

Harold: Oh, what a douche.

Dennis: Dude, he even liked where my status said that my mom died.

Harold: .........

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