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Susie Chapstick

A crap that remains partially lodged in the asshole and requires copious amounts of toilet paper to wipe off. It's so named because the mechanics of the said crap are very similar to a container of chapstick as it gradually rises out of the tube and is very slowly wiped off. A Susie Chapstick usually involves a fecal consistency that is very pasty or putty-like (see definition for "chad"), and often occurs when the individual is semi-constipated, thus lacking the GI motility to pass that offending last piece of shit completely through the anus. Ironically, Susie Chapsticks have a high affinity for occurring in public restrooms with limited or low-grade toilet paper, and no plunger anywhere in sight. To add insult to injury, the person having such a crap is also normally late for something important, like a hot date or job interview.

Wow...Wally has sure been in there a long time. I keep hearing the toilet flush and thought I also heard plunging. He must be having some hellacious Susie Chapstick craps after going on those pain pills.

by gothictom January 16, 2011

8👍 12👎


stink-off

An informal competition, usually between family members or close friends, commonly following a large, hearty meal. The object of the competition is to produce the most musical and, more importantly, the most fragrantly-foul and offensive expulsions of intestinal gas known to the farting free world. A true stink-off can render the premises virtually uninhabitable for many hours after the competition. Furniture can become flammable and the methane content in the air can sometimes reach the lower explosive limit. For this reason, stink-offs should always be held with extreme caution, cigarette smoking should be discouraged, and the premises should always be well-ventilated.

I stopped by Linda and Connie's house after they returned from the International Kimchi and Korean BBQ Festival. The place stunk so badly I could barely catch my breath. You could literally cut the air with a knife. Linda and Connie must have been in the middle of a real stink-off!!

by gothictom January 25, 2011

3👍 1👎